I Long For The Oasis In Your Eyes
by Minorkae
Summary: Yaoi A demon is on the loose in Tokyo and everyone is emotionally involved. Can the team save the city from destruction or will they fall apart under the pressure? Multipart story
1. Chapter 1 Who said the world was fair?

_**This is my attempt at actually writing something good for a change. You know, complete with plot, discription and not from someone's POV because I have no right, really, to assume I know what the characters would actually think.**_

_**Please send me flames. I enjoy laughing at your stupidity. That said, yes, this is yaoi. I'm not going to say what the pairing is because, again, I'm writing something I consider good for a change and telling you the pairing lacks suspense. If that pisses you off, hit the back button right now. I'm not forcing you to read my word vomit.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything associated with it. Although, I do have a pretty Yusuke key-chain which my friend from the Pillapines likes to call my Eugene key-chain. Weird, I know. They also call Hiei Vincent. Kurama is Dennis, formerly Denise because the people thought he was a girl. Weird. Also, the title of this story was stolen from a line from a doujinshi**

I Long For The Oasis in Your Eyes

**Chapter One: Who said the world was fair?**

Sitting on the ledge of a building, the demon surveyed the scene below him. It was awfully quiet for noon in such a large city. No one was out shopping for dinner, no one was on lunch break, no one was even gracing the streets with their presence. The reason for this sudden lack of people rushing around and going about their business was a news-broadcast. All over the country of Japan, people were sitting in their living rooms, watching the afternoon news for updated information on the latest debacle.

A mad-man was on the loose in Tokyo, so said the news anchors, killing people with brutal abandon; indiscriminately. The murderer slaughtered whomsoever happened to be on-hand at the time he saw fit to kill. Rumor had it that the murderer was eating the severed body-parts of his victims, which the police were unable to locate.

The demon on the ledge of the building alone knew the truth. He was the only one to ever have laid eyes on the murderer who was not a man, not a woman, but a demon. A demon he knew all too well. A demon who had lost her mind the moment she lost her 'lover' and was now terrorizing Tokyo.

Hiei sighed and jumped down from the building into the street and ran so fast he was invisable all the way to the only person whom he thought could help him.

Unlike his country-men, Yusuke Urameshi was out and about, actually enjoying the lack of responsiblilty, the tentative closing of his school and the silence of millions of absent people. He sensed his friend coming miles off so he was prepared when the smaller demon approached him.

"Hey, Hiei!" said Yusuke. "You wouldn't happen to be a mad-man on the loose in Tokyo killing people, would you?"

Hiei stared at Yusuke. "If you are going to behave like a bafoon, I'll ask Kurama for help. But if we end up dead because of you, I will haunt you to your grave."

"Okay, Hiei, relax. You said you needed help?"

"I know who the mad-man is."

"You do? That's great! Let's go to the NPA and tell the-"

"We cannot involve the human authorities, they will only be killed."

"So, the mad-man is a demon is he? Koenma must be shitting his pants. I'm surprised he hasn't drafted me to take care of him yet. What's the problem? Let's go find the bastard and put him in jail."

"Jail could not hold this demon. She must be k-killed."

"Hiei, you're shaking like crazy, what's wrong? I don't have a problem killing a female demon."

"That's not the problem, fool. The problem is that the demon is Mukuro."

Yusuke stared at his friend for a moment, trying to digest the information. He'd had his suspicions that the mad-man was a demon but hadn't wanted to believe it. Now that Hiei had told him that not only was it a demon, but it was one with whom he was aquainted, Yusuke was at a loss for words.

"Why?" was all Yusuke could come up with to say.

"She is having a hissy-fit. That is all you need to know."

"That's _some_ hissy-fit. She's killed like what, two-hundred people?"

"One-hundred and seventy-three."

"Well, _shouldn't_ we get Kurama's help too?"

"I suppose it would be best. But do not involve Kuwabara. I would hate to have to rescue his sorry ass from Mukuro if she decides to eat him."

"Eww… so she really _is_ eating her victims?"

Hiei stared off past Yusuke's shoulder into the distance at an approaching storm. "It is going to start raining soon," he said. He turned his gaze back to Yusuke. "We should seek shelter."

"Yeah, Kurama's new place is actually closest so we should head there." Yusuke turned around and started walking, Hiei at his side.

It was eerie for both demons that the streets were so silent and deserted. Newspaper articles with headlines such as 'The Psycho-Killer Strikes Again' and 'Authorities Baffled by Canibalistic Evidence' were swept up by the wind across the ever-darkening street. The pair kept a swift but steady pace all the way to their friend's house.

Kurama was just about to make dinner when he heard a knock and felt his friends presence at the door. He answered the knock with a somber expression and a barely audible 'hello.'

Yusuke bowed, which Hiei found puzzling until he spoke. "I am so sorry for your loss," Yusuke said respectfully. Kurama merely inclined his head slightly and stepped aside to admit his friends.

Hiei, having never been tactful came right out and asked, "Who did you lose?"

Yusuke gave Hiei a threatening glare.

"My mother," Kurama replied. "The mad-man killed her while she was on her way home from shopping for a birthday present for me. She died on my birthday. Ironic in its own way, I suppose. Have a seat in the living room, I will go make tea."

"Don't bother, Kurama. It's not nesassary to make tea," said Yusuke.

"I must be a proper host," Kurama objected.

"This is me and Hiei; we don't care if you fall to pieces and don't make tea. It's no big deal."

The trio walked into the living room and sat down across from each other on two couches. Hiei next to Yusuke and Kurama on the other side.

"I assume you have a reason for visiting," said Kurama. No up-talk, he knew they weren't there just to chat.

"Mukuro is the killer," said Hiei.

Kurama blinked at Hiei confusedly for a moment before the information had the chance to sink in. "Why?" he repeated Yusuke's earlier question.

Hiei remained silent. Lying to Yusuke was fine, but lying to Kurama was a damnable offense. Not only would Kurama be able to tell that Hiei was lying immediately, but Hiei knew that Kurama would find out the truth eventually.

"Hiei?" said Kurama.

"I refused to be her mate and now she's taking it out on Japan at large." Hiei hooked a finger in his collar and pulled his shirt down so Kurama could see what Mukuro had done to him. Over his chest was what looked like an ordinary burn, the only things remarkable about it were that it was on a fire demon's skin and was in the shape of a hand.

Kurama inhaled sharply through his teeth. "It looks very painful," he said tactfully avoiding asking what he really wanted to know which was why Hiei had refused her. "Would you like me to heal it?"

"It cannot be healed. It was made with Divine Flame," replied Hiei.

"What's that?" asked Yusuke.

"A higher flame then the Immortal one," said Kurama. "It is a figure of speech; it isn't really divine. It is very difficult to survive an attack from Divine Flame and even harder to heal."

"I thought Hiei said it _can't_ be healed."

"He is mistaken. I have the proper ingredients to heal it in my house. But it is very dangerous to do as it could end up burning his healthy skin."

"How do you heal a Divine burn?"

"With bleach and ammonia."

"Okay, I'm no chemistry expert but even _I_ know you shouldn't mix that stuff together. Don't the fumes cause, like, instant death?"

"No, not instant, and not if applied properly."

"What in blue hell are you two talking about? Divine Flame burns are impossible to heal," Hiei reiterated. "What is bleach and ammonia?"

"Two cleaning products with very high pH values. They can burn your skin by themselves but when mixed, they give off fumes comparable to crude mustard gas."

"And why would you ever try and treat a burn with base chemicals?" asked Hiei.

"The burn from ammonia and bleach destroys the original burn and allows me to heal the skin underneath. It will be very painful and dangerous."

"I don't care. Do it."

"I will go get the equipment. In the meantime, open all the windows in the living room." Kurama stood up and walked out of the room.

Yusuke stood up and started opening windows.

"Did that seem odd to you?" asked Hiei.

"What?" asked Yusuke.

"The fact that Kurama was barely functioning when we came here and now he is acting as if nothing ever happened."

"It's shock, that's all. It's normal."

"He should have hit me."

"Why would he do that?'

"Because it is my fault that his mother is dead."

"Not hardly, Hiei. I wouldn't have mated with that bitch either. You had no way of knowing she'd go all Hannibal Lecter on Tokyo. Don't blame yourself. We just need to come up with a plan on how to kill her."

"I already know how. But it is very risky and could kill us both."

"I'm in. You know what an adreniline junkie I am."

"We have to combine your Spirit Wave with my Dragon. It would create a massive explosion which would likely-"

"Knock us clear to Pluto?"

"Not what I had in mind but you seem to understand the concept. We have to lure her back to the Makai in order to keep humans from being affected."

"Sounds like you have a good solid plan. I'll just have to practice my landings in case I end up on Pluto. You know… Not a lot of gravity up there."

Kurama came back with two bottles of cleaning products, an empty bowl, measuring cups and cotton balls.

"What? No gas-masks?" asked Yusuke. It was a pitiful attempt to make light of the situation and he knew it but that was just Yusuke's way of dispelling anxiety, to make fun of what made him nervous.

Kurama ignored Yusuke and started measuring out equal parts ammonia and bleach into the bowl. The resulting smell was enough to make all demons present cringe but had an even greater affect on Kurama, whose sense of smell was more refined then his two friends.

"Take off your shirt," said Kurama.

Hiei obeyed Kurama's command.

"Now, lie down and try not to breathe."

Hiei lay down on the floor as it was stone and would not likely be as stained from the chemicals as the sofa would.

Kurama knelt beside his friend and dipped a cotton ball into the solution. Yusuke walked over to the window because the smell was starting to make him gag slightly. Not to mention the fact that the burn was gruesome and was enough to turn Yusuke's stomach on its own.

Kurama dabbed at the burn on Hiei's chest, noting that it was right over Hiei's heart. _He may lose sensation in this area,_ Kurama thought. He didn't bother telling his friend. He was too preoccupied in making sure that he didn't touch the chemicals to Hiei's healthy skin.

"We should have done this outside," said Yusuke who was staring out the window at the drizzle of rain.

"Except that it is raining, you moron," said Hiei.

"Don't take your anger out on me," said Yusuke.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm being burned with base chemicals right now. I am in no mood to hear your idiotic ramblings which do not even make sense."

"I'm sorry," Yusuke said in a defeated tone. The overall mood from being in a grieving friend's house coupled with the rain and the fact that he would soon have to embark on a dangerous and possibly suicidal mission did nothing to lift his spirits. "Kurama, why aren't you wearing gloves?" asked Yusuke.

"I hadn't thought of it," Kurama said dismissively. He looked into Hiei's eyes to gauge his reaction to the burn but saw only an empty expression. It pained Kurama to see his friend so emotionless but he merely continued his work.

"That stuff is dangerous, you're gonna burn your hands," said Yusuke.

"I don't care, Yusuke," Kurama replied. "Be quiet so I can concentrate."

Although there was no harshness in Kurama's tone, Yusuke took it as a warning that his friend was in no mood to talk. He could feel Kurama's anger growing.

Kurama finished his work and went outside to pour the chemicals out in the rain where they would be washed away and hopefully not damage his plants.

"How are you feeling, Hiei?" Kurama asked upon re-entry.

"Like my chest is on fire," Hiei replied.

Kurama went to his coffee table and pulled out a drawer which contained his demonic first aid kit. He started with an antiseptic mixed with aloe vera to help ease the burn, then wrapped Hiei's chest in tincture-soaked bandages which would help further heal the skin.

Hiei stood up and turned toward Yusuke, who had still not turned away from the window. "Go wash your hands, baka," Hiei snapped at Kurama. This was odd, Hiei rarely called anyone except Kuwabara a baka. He had certainly never called Kurama one.

Kurama left.

"Don't you think that was a bit harsh?' asked Yusuke.

Hiei pulled his shirt back on. "He needs to be shocked back into reality."

"Yeah, but calling him baka like that… I don't know, I guess I expected more from you concerning Kurama."

"It is unnerving to speak to someone's back. Turn around."

Yusuke faced Hiei. "I know I can't really understand what you're going through because, well, who can? But you need to chill out. Kurama's mom just _died_. That's kind of a big deal. Shiori was his life. He loved her more than any kid ever loved his mom. Did he ever tell you why he stole the Forelorn Hope?"

"No, I never understood it once I learned that you received a granted wish in exchange for your life. I assumed he never used it."

"His mom was dying of some really awful disease and he wanted to use it to save his mother's life. In exchange for his own. He didn't care that he was going to die. But I wouldn't let him. I told the mirror to take my life instead because it was just too ironic for my taste. The mirror granted the wish without taking either of our lives because I was being noble or whatever. I know you're not used to understanding how people feel coz you're like emotionally bankrupt but try okay? He's in a bad place right now. He needs comfort. I don't think trying to make him face reality is gonna make him feel better faster. He knows his mom is dead. He knows he's not right in the head but his heart is broken. Am I getting any of this through to you?"

"I honestly don't care how Kurama feels right now. We should just leave him behind if he isn't going to be helpful. He will only get in the way of our goal."

"If it weren't for the fact that your cause is righteous, I wouldn't help you. I don't think your motives are pure at all. I don't think you give two shits about whether another hundred humans die. We're all expendable to you. We're just _food_."

Hiei grabbed Yusuke and slammed him into the wall a few times. "Shut up! Shut up! I do not eat humans. And you are not a human. I don't care who your mother is, you are a demon. Do not insult yourself by lowering yourself to the standard of a common human."

"I can't believe this shit. Where the hell is Kurama? Washing your hands shouldn't take so long."

"He's in the back room, crying. He heard every word we said."

"Fuck you, Hiei. I'm going to talk to him. Stay here and try not to hurt anybody else, okay?" Yusuke pushed Hiei away and walked into the back room to find Kurama. His friend was sitting in the corner on a chair with his face buried in his hands.

"I'm sorry, Kurama," Yusuke said.

"Don't apologize for him," Kurama said in a not-so-steady voice. "He was right. My emotions will only get in the way. You would be right to leave me behind."

"You have a right to revenge. Just because Hiei is being an asshole doesn't mean you have to listen to him. Don't you think we're all emotionally attached to this… this situation? Hiei's just venting his rage. I don't know why he wants to kill Mukuro. He could care less about humans."

"Hiei is not heartless."

"How do you know?"

"If you are heartless, you can not suffer from a broken heart. It's as simple as that."

"When did Hiei's heart ever break?"

"Two minutes ago when you refered to yourself as food. Hiei doesn't slam his friends into walls for saying something rude and cruel. He brushes it off as if it does not matter to him. You are very capable of breaking his heart, Yusuke. You should know better then to say such things to Hiei. His temper is made worse by emotional trauma."

"You shouldn't make excuses for his rotten personality. He's rotten. There's nothing else to it. How would you even know his heart was broken?"

"Has he ever slammed you into a wall before?"

"No, except for just now."

"He did the same thing to me when I broke his heart seven years ago."

"Which was when?"

"When he thought Karasu had killed me. I was in the locker room with him and he slammed me against the wall saying 'don't you ever do that again. Do you hear me? I won't tolerate you dying.' He was nearly in tears when he said it. It was the most dreadful experience of my life up to that point. Heart-broken Koorime are… well, you felt the energy around Yukina. You know." Kurama dropped his hands into his lap. "He cares about me. If he didn't, he wouldn't mind not telling me the truth."

"I better go apologize to him then. Wash your face and come back out when you're ready." He touched Kurama's shoulder. "I'm here for you, you know that right?'

Kurama nodded and Yusuke left.

Yusuke walked into the living room with his hands up. "I'm sorry, man, I was way out of line," he said.

Hiei said nothing.

"I was too harsh."

Hiei stayed silent.

"I'm sorry I called myself food. That was just wrong. I'm sorry I called myself a human, although, it's not as insulting to me as it is to you."

No reply.

"Hiei, talk to me."

"Do you expect me to forgive you just because you apologize?" Hiei growled.

"No, but I do expect you to reply scathingly when I say something stupid."

"Is this a game to you?"

"What?"

"Do you enjoy making me feel worthless?"

"No, Hiei. I already apologized for that. I don't want to make anyone feel bad. I was just angry because you said you didn't care about Kurama."

"You are putting words in my mouth. I never said I didn't care about Kurama, I said I didn't care about how he was feeling. In the sense that it was irrelevant. I should have phrased that better. I'm worried about his welfare. I'm worried that he will get caught up in his need for vengence and make a careless mistake. He could die. We all could. And if one of you dies, and I don't… I don't even want to go down that road. Do we understand each other? Do you realize that I do have feelings?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Good. I need sleep." With that, Hiei fell to the floor and passed out.

Yusuke sighed and moved Hiei to the couch where he would, presumably, be more comfortable.

Kurama walked in moments later. "Oh good, will you be staying the night too?' he asked.

"Yeah, it's kinda late, thanks."

"We should get an early start tomorrow, we must make a plan."

Yusuke nodded.

"Good night," Kurama said as he headed up the stairs to his room.

_I guess I'll sleep on the other couch then…_ thought Yusuke. He lay down facing Hiei's feet and drifted off into, thankfully, dreamless sleep.

_**An unprecidented ten pages long! Woot! REVIEW MY DRIVIL!!**_


	2. Chapter 2 A strange place to wake up

_**Was the first chapter depressing enough for ya? Well, it's going down-hill from there. This whole fic is like a rollercoaster ride. Ups and downs and twists and turns. It really should be about seven different generes: action/adventure/mystery/**_

_**romance/angst/drama/tragedy… on and on and on. I hope you people like this stuff.**_

**Disclaimer: It's not mine.**

**Chapter two: A strange place to wake up.**

Hiei opened his eyes and saw that he was surrounded by vines and plants. Was this the same place he fell asleep? It couldn't be. He knew undeniably that he fell asleep in Kurama's living room. On the floor, in fact. But there he was, in the jungle on some sort of… wait, a couch?!

"Kurama?" he called, sitting up. He saw Yusuke sleeping on the couch opposite him and shook him awake. "Yusuke, wake up."

"Wassamattah- whoa!" said Yusuke. He sat up and looked around. "What's going on here? Are we still at Kurama's house?"

"These are his couches. Kurama!?"

The said demon walked in and instantly the plants were reduced to seeds scattered about the room. "I'm sorry about that. I was trying to stretch my energy to its limits to see how well I would do in battle against Mukuro.

Hiei glanced at Yusuke guiltily. "Actually," he said. "Yusuke and I already came up with a plan and it doesn't involve botony."

"Yeah, but we could still use Kurama's help," said Yusuke. "He could drain her energy and distract her while we power up."

"What is this plan?" asked Kurama. He was already getting a bad feeling about it.

"We're just going to combine our signature attacks," said Yusuke. "My Spirit Wave with Hiei's Dragon of the Darkness Flame."

"You're going to combine a massive amount of spirit energy with a dangerous flame from the underworld which _feeds_ on spirit energy?"

"Yeah, sounds about right."

"You will both be killed."

"Not necassarilly," said Hiei. "The dragon, which I have already proven mastery over, would kill Mukuro, not me or Yusuke."

"The explosion would… Hiei, it's too dangerous! There must be another way. Couldn't you simply use the dragon?"

"It is useless against Mukuro on its own. I already tried to kill her with it."

"I thought you weren't trying to kill her at the tournament."

"Two months ago. I used it against her and she simply cut it in half with her dimensional divide."

"What if we electrocuted her?" asked Yusuke.

"What?" said Hiei.

"Half her body is made of metal. What if we got her wet and stuck an electode to her metal part?"

"All that would do is burn her," said Hiei. "Honestly, Yusuke. She doesn't have a heart beat. Electricity wouldn't kill her."

"Yeah. That's true… I guess we need another plan."

"Our plan is fine the way it is," said Hiei. "We can make a force-field immediately after releasing our attacks and keep the dragon away. It would also prevent us from being killed in an explosion."

"You haven't thought that through, Hiei," said Kurama. "Putting out that much energy and then expecting to be able to make a force-field? That is just plain poor stradegy."

"What do _you_ suggest?" asked Hiei.

"Since you both seem to think I cannot do much besides act as a distraction, I shall put up a barrier of bomb-sheltering plants. They are strong enough to ward off a nuclear explosion. It should work."

"We didn't say you were useless. Don't imply that," said Hiei. "Your plan should work out fine with ours."

"Now we just have to find the bitch and force her back to the Makai," said Yusuke.

"So far, she hasn't attacked anyone outside of Tokyo," said Kurama. "I suggest we travel to Tokyo. Has anyone noticed the pattern of her attacks?"

"Only that she doesn't care about age, race, sex, or anything," said Yusuke. "She seems to kill just whoever happens to be in her way."

"That is true, however, she has a pattern in location of murders."

"What do you mean?"

Kurama pulled out a map of Tokyo proper with dots drawn on it. "The dots represent a murder. Notice anything?"

"She's creating a pentagram," said Hiei.

"Penta_cle_ actually, she's started to circle it," said Kurama. "If you notice, she killed twenty-eight people on each of the lines, going exactly two miles between each killing, three on the intersections all clustered together and now she is making a circle around the star.

"So far, she's killed twenty-one people on the edge of the circle," Kurama continued.

"There's a problem," said Yusuke. "The star is upside-down."

"It is the symbol of the devil," said Kurama. "I believe she plans to kill six-hundred and sixty-six people. Another symbol of the devil. At least, in Christian mythology."

"They won't all fit in the circle. She's killed eighteen people from one point of the pentacle to another going… which direction?"

"Counter-clockwise," Kurama answered.

"If she keeps up her pattern, she won't be able to fit another… how many people?"

"Four hundred and ninety-three," said Kurama. "You are assuming that she will only make this star. I believe that once she has finished the pentacle, she will create an upside-down cross in the center. She is doing this on purpose."

"Why would she make her pattern obvious?" asked Yusuke.

"She wants to kill police officers and NPA agents when they come after her. Which would also make it more difficult for other demons –us- to get near her for fear of being revealed as demons."

"Have you heard from Koenma at all?" Yusuke asked suddenly. "It seems so weird that Mukuro is killing all these people and Koenma doesn't know about it and or isn't getting me to fix the problem."

Suddenly, there was a 'Pop' and Koenma appeared. "Sorry about my delayed arrival," said Koenma who was in teen form. "As you can imagine, with all the murders, Spirit World is backed up with paperwork."

"I don't like your attitude," said Hiei. "You're being flippant about humans being killed."

"On the contrary, Hiei," said Koenma. "I am very upset about this situation. And you are mistaken if you think that Kuwabara doesn't already know what's going on. He's gotten awfully smart in the past few years. I expect him to come crashing through the door at any moment."

As if on queue, Kuwabara knocked urgently on the door. Kurama went to answer it and Kuwabara followed him back into the living room. "You guys thought you could leave me out of saving the world?" he asked. "Not a chance. These are _my_ people that are dying."

"Do you think we don't care because we're demons?" asked Hiei. "In case you have forgotten, two of us are half-human."

"Then why do _you _care?" Kuwabara snapped.

"I happen to care a great deal when people go around killing humans just because they're pissed off at someone who isn't even involved."

"You mean you? Mukuro's killing people because she's mad at _you_? She's eating people because _you_ did something to make her mad? What the hell did you do?!" 

"I refused to do something for her," Hiei growled. "And I'll thank you not to blame the entire problem on me. I didn't force that… that _woman_ to kill humans. It was her choice."

"Whoa," Yusuke touched Hiei's shoulder. "Calm down. Kuwabara's just baiting you, as usual. Nothing new."

Hiei shrugged Yusuke off. "I will not take full responsibility for this abomination," Hiei hissed.

"Fine, I take it back!" said Kuwabara. "But I never said it was your fault."

Hiei started to say something but Yusuke stopped him by saying, "let it go. It's not worth it."

Hiei responded with a grimace and stood back, staring pointedly in Koenma's direction.

"If you want information from me," said Koenma, "You're looking in the wrong place. You know more about her then I do, Hiei."

Hiei looked away, as if ashamed.

"Anyway… As I'm sure you can all imagine, this is a major problem for Spirit World. My dad is very upset about it. He was thinking of sending out the SDF again but I talked him out of it."

"How did you manage that?" asked Yusuke. "I thought he was pretty much non-negotiable."

"The SDF may be powerful, but they are not powerful enough to kill Mukuro. Especially considering her new power. Divine Flame can consume the soul. That's what I told my dad. Losing souls is not an option. Not on our side anyway."

"What are you going to do with her?" asked Hiei.

"What do you mean?" asked Koenma.

"When we kill her, where will she go?"

"The harshest punishment available. Eternity in Limbo."

Hiei flinched, still looking at the ground. "Eternity?" His voice was very quiet, almost defeated.

"Yes, Hiei," Koenma said in an empathetic voice. "Mass murderers automatically get eternity in Limbo."

"She's damaged."

"Even so, Hiei, we can't tolerate mass murder. If we grated her a pardon because she had a rough life, we would have to make the same allowances for other murderers."

Hiei glared at Koenma. "Rough life? Rough _life_!? Do you have any idea what she's been through? What right do you have to pass judgement?"

The rest of the team looked on in an embarrassed silence. They were completely bewildered by Hiei's sudden explosion. Moments ago, wasn't Hiei plotting to kill her? Wasn't he saying how much he hated her for what she was doing? Hiei's odd behavior was more then slightly unsettling to his friends.

"I'm sorry, Hiei."

"Don't apologize to me for sending someone to hell! You're god, aren't you?" Hiei sneered. "Your almighty attitude lets you do things that mere _mortals_ such as myself could never do. And don't talk down to me as if I am some lower being. It won't be you who judges me in the end. Only myself."

"Hiei…" Kurama said. He was trying to make sense of the situation as best he could considering that he was functioning under conditions normal people would crumble under.

"I haven't forgotten that you were going to send me to hell for eternity," Hiei spat at Koenma, ignoring Kurama's plea. "What is your judgement now? Where are you going to send me?"

"Paradise. Eternity in Paradise," said Koenma. "You'll like it there. That's where your mother is."

Kurama grabbed Hiei by his collar in time to prevent the smaller demon from launching himself at Koenma.

"That was bad even for you," said Yusuke.

"And not tactful at all," Kuwabara added, giving a side-long glance to Kurama.

"Do you expect me to just take what he gives me without retaliation?" asked Koenma.

"You're not like us," said Yusuke. "You don't have a mother. You'll never die. Can't you see how that would keep us from trusting you? What are you anyway?"

"I don't have to take this," said Koenma.

"It is a valid question," said Kurama, still trying to calm Hiei.

"I'm more or less an angel," said Koenma, sighing heavilly. "The highest choir. Botan too. But she's in a lower choir. I'm not saying being mortal isn't tough and I'm not saying I understand how you feel. I'm just telling you what I know. And what I know is this; Mukuro will keep killing until she is killed. Insanity such as hers can not be cured nor reasoned with. With that, I leave you." 'Pop' Koenma was gone.

"You can let me go now," Hiei said. "I can't kill him if he's not there."

Kurama released Hiei.

"Man," said Yusuke. "I don't know why I didn't punch him again. He deserved it. Don't listen to pacifier breath, Hiei. He's just as worried as we… er… at least as worried as I am. Don't know if he's as worried as you. I feel like an idiot for wanting to talk to him in the first place. He didn't tell us anything anyway…"

Kurama disagreed. Koenma had given them a piece of the puzzle that didn't fit anywhere. _Insanity is not systamatic¸_ he thought. _I thought we were dealing with rage. This is uncharted territory._

Kurama briefed Kuwabara on the plan. Kuwabara immediately spotted holes. "How are you planning to lure her to Demon World?" He asked.

"Don't know yet," Yusuke said at the same time Hiei said "Using me as bait."

"Hold up!" said Yusuke. "Bait? Nah-uh. Set aside the fact that it is absolutely insane and suicidal to be bait, it's also not your style. Are you _trying_ to get killed?"

Hiei just stared at him.

"Oh," said Yusuke. "You and me need to have a chat."

Hiei said nothing.

"Okay, we'll think of luring her later. What about these bomb-sheltering plants?" asked Kuwabara. "They're supposed to be able to block a nuclear explosion."

"So?" said Yusuke.

"Isn't this explosion going to be spirit and demon energy?"

"What's your point?" asked Hiei.

"Aren't Kurama's plants affected by both those energies?"

"Only mine," said Kurama who was gazing sadly at Hiei. Hiei pretended not to notice.

Kuwabara rubbed his temple as if suffering from a tension head-ache. "Nuclear energy and spirit energy are not the same. It's like trying to block UV rays from the sun with glass. It doesn't make sense."

Kurama finally understood. "He's right. It won't even be a bomb explosion. How could I have missed such a major hole in the plan? If not for Kuwabara, we'd all surely have been killed."

"What do you mean?" asked Yusuke.

"He is right about the energies being different. We need a new plan."

"I already have one," said Kuwabara. "We can't be blown up if we're in a different dimension."

"Did someone forget to feed you your smart pills this morning?" asked Yusuke. "How are we going to get to another dimension?"

"I'll cut us one with my sword. It's easy, I've been practicing."

Kurama looked alarmed. "You've been practicing inter-dimensional travel?" he whispered.

"Yeah, it's not like I can't control it. I can even manipulate time a little."

"Don't tell me that ever again," said Kurama.

"Why not?"

"Manipulate time?" Kurama turned a very pale color. "That is too dangerous. I don't want to hear about it."

"It's just-"

"Nm-hm!" said Kurama. "I don't want to hear about it."

"On that happy note," said Yusuke. "Let's get going."

_**That's a scary thought. Kuwabara manipulating time. Scares the hell out of me.**_


	3. Chapter 3 With absolute uncertainty

_**Feh, is unhappy with last chapter.**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. I swear. –dead-pan serious- TT**

**Chapter three: With absolute uncertianty.**

"Hiei and I will take first watch," said Yusuke once they had settled into their hotel room. They were very near Tokyo but not even close to where the next murder was, according to Kurama's diagram, supposed to take place.

Kurama and Kuwabara agreed, gratefully as both were very tired and climbed into their own beds.

Yusuke led Hiei to the balcony where he waited until he was sure Kurama and Kuwabara were both sound asleep before speaking with Hiei.

"I know how you feel," said Yusuke. "Well, kinda. Not the whole 'my god someone I love has gone ape-shit' thing but the 'wanting to die because life sucks' thing."

Hiei didn't respond.

"It's a bad idea. I think Kuwabara is clueless as to what is going on with you and Kurama is traumatized-"

"So, you feel it is _your_ duty to 'save' me?" Hiei inturupted snappishly.

"No, Hiei. Not my duty." He leaned over the edge of the balcony to look down at the city below. "It's not even my place to say that you shouldn't do it. I'm no therapist, afterall. My motives are almost entirely selfish. IE: I don't want to lose you. It's scary, Hiei. It's really scary."

"Life is scary, get used to it."

"Here's the thing, Hiei. I've been dead. And I gotta tell ya, it's not any fun."

"You didn't die. You're heart merely stopped beating and you became a demon."

"Not that time. I was hit by a car and died when I was fourteen. Koenma brought me back to life to save the world or whatever. But when I was dead, I was a ghost. I had to go around watching all the people I cared about try and get on without me. Which they didn't do too hot at. I'm just saying…"

"Come away from the edge," said Hiei.

"Why? Are you afraid I'll fall?"

"Just come away from the edge."

Yusuke backed away from the rickety railing and leaned against the wall next to Hiei. "Are you going to come away from the edge too?"

"I don't know."

"If you don't, I won't either."

Hiei stayed in shocked silence for a minute. "It's your life."

"Damn it, Hiei. I'm trying to help."

"Threatening to follow me into death is no way to lift my spirits. I never said I was going to kill myself."

"No, you're right. You didn't. But you didn't have to. I can see it in your eyes. You're not dead yet, Hiei. You've still got a couple centuries to see before you go to the Great Beyond. Demon life-span, it's a trip, huh?"

"I wouldn't call it a trip."

"What would you call it?"

"A cruel joke. What point is living for a thousand years when you have no one to share it with?"

"You could share it with me. I'm not going to leave you."

"Do you promise?"

"As long as Mukuro doesn't kill me, I'll do my best not to die before you do. But if she kills us both, this conversation is pointless."

"Detective, you've just given me a reason to live." Hiei smiled, it was small but it was there.

"Good." Yusuke threw an arm over Hiei's shoulder and squeezed the smaller demon. His friend didn't mind at all.

- -

Kurama didn't sleep that night. He couldn't. The smell of death was all-incompassing. He couldn't smell anything else. It wasn't just the smell. As an Empath, Kurama is able to feel what others are feeling, the 'gift' was intensified at the passing of his mother. His Empathetic reach, therefore was extended.

All around him were people mourning for their loved ones, just as Kurama mourned. He felt their tears and broken hearts, he felt it all. He was drained by death, it filled his every being. Contradictions such as these ran through his head. _I am living dead_, he thought. _I am alive yet not living._

If not for Kurama's strong religious beliefs and his morals, he would be planning to end it the way Hiei was. But suddenly, he felt a wave of a new emotion coming from his friends outside. An emotion that he could not name. It was like nothing he had ever felt before.

The best he could come up with was that it felt like home. Tears fell from Kurama's eyes, not tears of pain, tears of relief. _Hiei won't die of his own hand,_ he thought. That, at least, gave him comfort.

_**In comparison to the last two chapters, this one was… I think calling it short would be exaggerating it's length a bit. Eh, side-plots are hard to lengthen.**_

_**Argh, this was fluffy and angsty and… SWEET! My teeth are rotting just reading it.**_


	4. Chapter 4 Death in the trees

_**Why oh why can't I have internet in my bedroom?**_

**Chapter Four: Death in the trees**

Kuwabara shivered. It wasn't so much that it was cold outside, it was just the feeling, the tickle feeling. It was worse than ever. "This place is haunted," he said to his friends.

"Well, duh!" said Yusuke. "Ten people died in this part of town. Botan can't round them all up at once."

"Not just that," said Kuwabara. "There's death everywhere- No, not just because people died. Look! The plants are dying. There's death in the trees. Death in the air. It's so spooky and there's no one around. People keep staring at us from behind their blinds."

"What do you expect?" said Yusuke. "That we'd be welcomed like heros? They probably think _we're_ the ones killing people. Who else would be out here?"

"How is it that no one has seen Mukuro?" asked Kurama.

"Where the hell did _that_ come from?!" yelled Yusuke. "Sorry, didn't mean to scream in your face. But that was random even for you."

"If you two would stop fighting like children, maybe Kurama wouldn't have to inturrupt your 'conversation' with a relavant question," said Hiei. "That is a good point. She only kills one person at a time, except for at the points of the star."

_Insanity…_ thought Kurama. _Insanity is not systematic…_ "I don't know how she does it. The killings have all been during daylight."

"Maybe she's faster then Hiei?" said Yusuke.

"She would have to be faster than _light_ to be completely invisable and that would be dangerous," said Hiei. "If she were merely fast, a gifted human would be able to see her."

_Insanity… _"That's it!" said Kurama. "Insanity!"

"What?" said all three of his friends.

"Brain washing; mind control; she's spreading insanity," said Kurama. "Do you remember what they said about the so-called witnesses to the murders?"

"Everyone in the area either said they didn't see anything or were too traumatized to speak," said Yusuke.

"She can't brainwash people, only people like Hiei can do that," said Kuwabara. "I studied her powers, it didn't say anything about psychokenisis!"

"Where did you study her powers?" asked Hiei.

"A library in the Makai. There was a whole section on the Makai lords. Yusuke's there too."

"What in blue hell were you doing in the Makai?"

"I just said, research! I wanted to know as much about Mukuro as possible."

"Let me rephrase that," said Kurama. "She isn't using mind control, so to speak, she's merely using psychological torture."

"Sounds fun, what is it?" asked Yusuke.

"She feeds emotions into a person's psyche through her energy. You were right about death being everywhere; Mukuro is filling the city with the imprint of chaos and destruction. Very astute observation Kuwabara."

"Guys," said Yusuke. "We're here."

They all stopped and stared at the street before them. The dot where the next murder was to take place.

"We don't have a plan yet," said Kuwabara. "Does anyone know what to do?"

"We provoke her into following us and lead her to the Makai," said Kurama.

"Sounds easy in theory but- fuck!" yelled Yusuke. "Kuwabara is the only human in the area!!"

"Fine," said Kuwabara. "She can chase after me if she's hungry."

"Don't be an asshole," said Hiei. "You are not food, baka."

"Did Hiei just swear?" asked Kuwabara, stunned. "I've only heard Hiei swear once, and that was when he was trying to kill Sensui. Since when does Hiei swear?"

"Hiei swears when Hiei is pissed off," said Hiei. "Like now, when an obnoxious man keeps saying Hiei's name like Hiei isn't present."

Everyone stared at Hiei.

"I think Kurama's right about the insanity thing," said Kuwabara. "It's starting to mess with your head… _Hiei_…"

"Don't say my name in italics," said Hiei. "It's rude."

Kurama looked at Hiei intensly for a moment. "Right again, Kuwabara," he said. "Hiei, what time is it?"

"How should I know? You are the one who carries time in his pocket."

Yusuke exchanged a glance with Kuwabara. They were starting to become worried. This wasn't the Hiei they knew at all.

"What are we doing here?" asked Kurama.

"The star, we have to complete it."

"Yusuke, take Hiei back to the hotel and feed him fruit."

"What will _that_ do?" Yusuke asked rather loudly.

"Mukuro must be near by, Hiei is being affected by her nearness. I should have thought of this!"

"Make Kuwabara bring Hiei back to the hotel!" said Yusuke. "He's the only human. He's in the most danger."

"No one is taking me anywhere," Hiei growled. "I'm fine, I was just confused for a moment."

"What time is it, Hiei?" asked Kurama.

"Judging by the position of the sun, around noon. I don't know why I didn't think of that before."

"And why are we here?"

"To save that man's life," Hiei said pointing to a homeless person standing right where the dot was. "Mukuro is behind that building," Hiei whispered. "I can smell her breath." Hiei looked like he was about to throw up but contained himself.

"Don't panic," Kurama said in a low voice. "Panic is exactly how Mukuro controls her victims. If we stay calm, she can't control us."

"Easy for you to say!" Yusuke hissed. "You're used to being calm in freak-ass situations." 

"Yusuke, remember our purpose."

"He's right, Urameshi," said Kuwabara. "Are you calm, Hiei?"

"As death," Hiei replied. He stepped forward toward the man who was searching through the garbage for forgotten food. The irony was not lost on Hiei. "Don't be afraid," he said to the homeless man.

"Who are you?" the man asked in a raspy voice.

"I am an angel," said Hiei.

"Shit," Yusuke whispered "He's nuts again."

"Shh!" said Kurama.

"You're here because the killer is here," the man replied.

"Yes," said Hiei. "The killer is very near by. I am going to protect you. Here's what I want you to do: go into that ally and pretend to be invisible. You won't be harmed."

The man did as Hiei said and Hiei opened his jagon. His friends joined him.

"Nice one, Hiei," said Yusuke.

"You thought I was nuts again," Hiei replied dryly. "That man is insane, I wanted him out of sight. Crazy people will do whatever you say if you tell them what they want to hear. Kuwabara, run."

"Run where?" asked Kuwabara.

"To the portal. You're the only human. Quick, she's coming! She's hungry…"

Kuwabara took off at a sprint toward the nearest portal. It was at least five miles away.

Mukuro rounded the corner and looked for the man she had arranged to be standing there by the trash cans. He wasn't there. She couldn't sense him or smell him. But wait, there was a human up ahead. _He thinks he can run,_ she thought. _Pathetic, but he will make a nice snack._

She started after Kuwabara at a swift pace, keeping him several yards ahead at all times, she wanted to chase him. Hunt her prey.

"She didn't even see us!" said Yusuke.

"Run, you fool, she's going to eat Kuwabara!" Hiei yelled, sprinting after Mukuro.

Yusuke started to run as well but stopped abruptly when he realized that Kurama wasn't moving. "Kurama, buddy, we gotta go," he said gently.

"I'm useless," said Kurama.

"Now is not the time, Kurama. We have to go save Kuwabara. He's being chased."

"What's the point? She'll kill us all in the end."

"Snap out of it!" Yusuke yelled. "I can't leave you here alone!"

"Take care of Hiei." Kurama collapsed.

"Fuck!" Yusuke yelled. He did the only thing he could think of, he lifted Kurama on his shoulders and started after Hiei.

_I can't feel his heart-beat,_ Yusuke thought. _No! Don't think it, don't you dare think it!_

_**There in the dark where shadows lie. Be still, be silent. Just. Don't. Die.**_


	5. Chapter 5 Systematic insanity

_**I couldn't think of a good thing to put as a note at the end of chappy 4 so I left something weird. Sorry about that. If it really bugs everyone, I'll go back and delete it.**_

**Chapter Five: Systematic insanity**

_Where the hell are Kurama and Yusuke_? Hiei thought as he chased Mukuro into the portal. _Stay focused. Don't break concentration or Mukuro will sense me._

At the moment, the only person Mukuro could feel was Kuwabara. Hiei made sure of that. Unfortuantely, that meant Kuwabara was the only person Hiei could feel too. He had no idea where his friends were. He was running blindly in Kuwabara's direction. Every fiber of his being was focused on making Kuwabara seem like the most delicious human Mukuro had ever seen.

Meanwhile, Yusuke was running as fast as he could with Kurama's weight on his shoulders. It was cumbersome. _If only Kurama would move every once in a while so he wasn't just dead weight! No, not dead. Kurama is not dead. Don't think it. His heart doesn't beat because he's a demon._ End of story.

Mukuro was tiering of the chase, she was very hungry. She increased her speed. So did Hiei.

Yusuke entered the portal and nearly ran head-first into Hiei's back. He had been running so fast that he surpassed Hiei's speed. In the process of not hitting Hiei, he dropped Kurama on the ground.

"Fuck!"

Hiei turned around and broke concentration for only a moment, but a moment was long enough. Mukuro stopped dead in her tracks.

"Hiei?" she said in a voice that was oozing insanity. "Oh good, you can help me catch the…" Mukuro turned and looked, but she didn't see Kuwabara. "…human. Where did he go, did you see him?"

"What is she talking about, he's-"

"Shh!" Hiei cut Yusuke off. Yusuke saw him and so did Hiei. Mukuro couldn't see him because he didn't exist in her dimension. Yusuke and Hiei saw him only because Kuwabara wanted them to.

"Leap over the line when you're done," Kuwabara's voice echoed around them. "Toss Kurama over when she's not looking. She can't hear me."

Yusuke and Hiei exchanged a glance before Hiei took a step forward. "Lady Mukuro," he said. "It has been such a long time." His voice was dripping affection and false calm. "Been keeping yourself busy?"

Mukuro smiled her crooked smile. "You always did know how to make a lady feel wanted. Too bad this is our last moment together."

"Too bad," said Hiei. He pulled the wrap off his arm exposing the dragon. "Any last words?"

Yusuke grabbed Kurama while Mukuro's attention was focused on Hiei and tossed him over the nearly invisible line in the sand. Kuwabara caught his friend but Yusuke turned before he could see Kuwabara's reaction. He started powering up for his spirit wave.

"Only that I am glad it is you," Mukuro said, she stood with her arms outstretched. "Who better to send me to eternity then the man of my dreams? It is too bad that the person of your dreams is also a man." Mukuro cackled. "Good bye, mon cheire, I shall meet you in hell."

Yusuke grabbed Hiei's arm and they both released their signature attacks at once. The result was a bright white light which eminated from where their hands met and headed straight for Mukuro.

Yusuke launched them both sideways over the line in time to see all of Alaric go up in flames.

Yusuke stood up and detangled himself from Hiei. "This dimension looks familiar," he said.

Hiei said nothing.

Kurama said nothing.

They appeared to be back in Kurama's house, near the couches.

"I can cut us back to wherever I want us to go," Kuwabara explained.

Everyone stared at Kurama's body. "Is he-"

"No," Kuwabara cut Yusuke off. "Catatonic."

"Oh, good. Better than being dea…" Yusuke looked over at Hiei who was sitting on the couch across from where Kurama lay. Hiei was crying. "Hey," he said, sitting next to his friend. "It's okay, Kurama will be fine." Yusuke rubbed Hiei's back. "He's just unconscious. He'll wake up when he's ready."

"You understand nothing," Hiei said.

"No, I was just hoping that you weren't crying because of something else. I get it. I mean, I don't _get_ it but I know what you're thinking. I think."

"I'm gonna take Kurama up to his bedroom where he'll be more comfortable," said Kuwabara. He picked up Kurama and headed upstairs.

"What am I thinking?' asked Hiei staring at his feet.

"You're wondering whether or not you did the right thing," said Yusuke. "I can tell you right now that you did what was best for the world."

"What about my world?" asked Hiei. "What was best for that?"

"That I don't know. I'm not a genious or anything. I'm not even all that great at knowing how most people feel. But I do know that this is something no one should ever have to go through. And that's the story of your life. Am I right?"

"Yes, and this is hardly the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Then why am I crying?"

"You're sick and tired of the crap the universe throws at you all the time. You can cry when you're fed up. It's frustrating."

"No, it's because I killed the only person to ever love me."

Yusuke stayed quiet for a moment.

"No response for that one?"

"I'm trying to figure out the best way to tell you you're blind without insulting you."

Hiei wiped away his tears. "Blind?"

"Well, not literally, you have an extra eye for crying out loud but… we all love you. At least, I do."

Hiei stared at Yusuke. "Why would you do something like that?"

"Tell you I love you?"

"Love me in the first place."

"You're just so darn loveable."

"Don't ever say that again."

Yusuke grinned. "No, I love you because you're you. I don't have to have another reason. Remember what I promised you? We're together until death. I won't leave you. I promised. Why would I do that if I didn't love you?"

Hiei looked away. "Are you always this blunt with your feelings?"

"Well, I guess I'll have to be because you don't get it unless I shove it in your face. Now let's take a nap. We shouldn't have stayed up all night keeping watch. It was a dumb idea."

"Where do we sleep? On the couches again?"

"Just this one. I need a cuddle-nap."

"A what?"

Yusuke wrapped his arms around Hiei and pulled him down so they would lying be side-by-side on the couch.

"Ohh…"

_**Good place for an ending, ne? Au cauntre, this is only part one! But you can quit reading it if you want. Really, I won't mind.**_

_**Besides, you guys would kill me if I left Kurama catatonic and the relationship with Yusuke and Hiei ambiguous. You'll all get 'what happens next' syndrome. I know that's a good thing for writers to leave their audience wanting more but it drives me nuts personally. I wouldn't do that to you my Loyal Readers.**_

_**Also, Minorkae already threatened to drill holes in my skull if I don't continue. Weird thing to hear from a fan.**_


	6. 2 Chapter 1 Waiting for words

**Disclaimer: It still doesn't belong to me. See my profile for full disclaimer and added bonuses (not really)**

_**I'm back in my usual territory now (angst and romance) so I feel more comfortable doing first person POV's again.**_

**Part 2 Chapter One: Waiting for words**

_POV: Hiei_

I sat perched on Yusuke's desk while he did his homework just inches away from where I sat. The quiet scratching of his pencil on paper was all the sound we needed for the moment.

I leaned over to read what he was writing. Alas, it was in English. I sighed.

"Something the matter, Hiei?' Yusuke asked, looking up from his paper.

"No," I replied.

"Well, there's something up with me, I'll tell you that."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm worried about Kurama. He still hasn't woken up and it's been like three days." He started tapping his pencil on his desk.

"I don't know what to tell you. You told me he was going to be just fine three days ago."

"Yeah, but I don't know that for sure. I thought he would only be out for maybe a day."

"If something were wrong with him, Kuwabara would have alerted us to it. As it stands, I trust Kuwabara's oppinion that Kurama will be alright. You would do well to do the same."

"Since when does anything Kuwabara says mean anything to you?"

"It's better than worrying about something I have no control over."

"So, what do you suggest?"

"We wait."

Yusuke sighed and started writing again. "You know, you don't have to be here if I'm bugging you."

"Why would you think you are bothering me?"

"Because my energy is all wonky. I'm being moody and anxious. I've written the same sentence six times and erased it all six times. I'm an idiot."

I touched the back of his neck and rubbed his shoulders gently. "No, you have good reason to be worried. An idiot is one thing you are not."

I reached over and took hold of his right arm. "It's one hell of a weird-looking scar…" Yusuke muttered.

"It isn't a scar. It's a tattoo. In a few more days, I believe it will be a pheonix."

"Why do you say that?"

I ran my hand up the length of his arm and traced the wings on his shoulder. "This is how my dragon tattoo looked a few days before it looked as it does know. Like a pale scar. I wonder what color it will be."

"Probably blue."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, coz Puu is a big blue pheonix-looking thing. Maybe because that's what my soul looks like. Speaking of which, I should probably go visit the poor guy. He must be a wreck if I feel this way."

I let go of Yusuke's arm. "Would you like me to go with you?"

"I would like that very much."

I pulled on the jacket I was borrowing from Yusuke and we walked through his neighborhood toward the train station. I hated taking the train but I was looking forward to checking on Yukina.

We sat near the back of the train; away from other people.

"Are you going to come into the temple this time?" asked Yusuke. "I've noticed that whenever you go to the temple, you never go inside."

"I will go in. It is about time I gave Yukina her gem back," I replied.

"So, you're gonna tell her who you are?"

"She already knows."

"Really? I didn't know that. How did she find out?"

"I wrote to her while I was in the Makai several months ago. She wrote back that she wasn't surprised and had suspected for a long time that I was her brother."

"Oh, wow."

I touched Yusuke's right arm again and tried to focus some ki into it to see if I could make the tattoo appear. It worked.

"Cool…" said Yusuke as he looked down at the pheonix tattooed into his skin. It was blue, as he suspected with a two tails that wound down his arm to his wrist. The wings on his shoulder were the most prominent features. When I removed my hand, the tattoo disappeared.

"Give it time and I know it will be permanent," I said.

"How have you been sleeping?" Yusuke asked suddenly.

"Fine. Why?"

"Well, you spend the whole day with me and then you go away for the night. I was wondeirng if you were sleeping or not."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Where are you sleeping then?"

"In the tree outside Kurama's bedroom window. I want to be there when he wakes up."

"Kuwabara still there?"

"All the time."

"He'll tell us as soon as Kurama comes to. You don't have to wait outside his window. It's getting colder now. It's almost winter."

"Where do you suggest I sleep?"

"I don't know. You could stay with me if you like."

I looked away, remembering the day we took a nap cuddled together on Kurama's couch. It had been nice but awkward when I woke up in his arms. I hadn't known what to do so I just lay there waiting for him to wake up and let me go.

"I'll think about it," I replied. I wondered how it would feel to go to sleep in his arms every night and wake up with him every morning. The thought sent shivers down my spine which wasn't entirely unpleasent.

"Good."

I stared out the window and watched as we blazed past the trees. "I don't see why we couldn't just sprint there…" I muttered.

"The train is easier," said Yusuke. "I hate hiking through nature for six hours just to get to Genkai's. As it is, we have to hike for an hour to get there from the train station."

"If we sprinted, it would take less than two hours to get there from your house."

"Yeah, but I didn't feel like running today." Yusuke shrugged and pulled a box out of his jacket pocket. "Pocky?' he said, offering the treat to me.

I took a piece and nibbled on it. Yusuke stuck one in his mouth and played with it with his tongue. It was intriguing. It made me wonder what else he could do with his tongue. Then I scolded myself for being so crude. It wasn't polite to wonder about such things regarding your friends. Which inevitably brought me back to the thought that had been crossing my mind every day since he told me that he loved me. What kind of love was his?

Platonic, that was the word that seemed the most likely. Afterall, if he had other intentions, he would have made them clear by now, wouldn't he?

_**Next chapter will be from Yusuke's POV. It'll switch every chapter.**_


	7. 2 Chapter 2 To touch a soul

_**By now, it should be evident what the pairing is. If it isn't, you'll figure it out soon enough.**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I just write what the pretty voices in my head tell me to.**

**Part 2 Chapter Two: To touch a soul**

_POV: Yusuke_

"Brother!" Yukina shouted as she opened the door to admit me and Hiei. "Oh it's been so long." She embraced Hiei, who returned the hug looking slightly freaked out. She let him go and smiled. "Welcome back. Won't you come in?"

We walked in and I immediately rushed to Puu, who was lying in the corner with his head resting on the floor. He looked up at me sadly when I approached. "Puu…" he said dejectedly. I patted him on the head.

"I know how you feel, Puu," I said.

He nuzzled my face with his and seemed to cheer up slightly. I gave him a kiss on the forehead and sat next to him. "Our buddy will be fine, I promise."

"Puu…"

Puu rested his head in my lap and I stroked his feathers. Then he suddenly looked up and went "puu!" really excitedly. I looked to see what he was looking at and saw Hiei standing in front of us. Puu flapped his wings happily.

"I thought you didn't like me," said Hiei as he reached out to stroke Puu's head. It made me shiver because it felt like he was doing it to me.

Puu rubbed his cheek on Hiei's and rested his head on Hiei's shoulder. "Puu!"

"How could he not like you?" I asked. "He's part of me."

"… I forgot." Puu started nibbling on Hiei's ear, then he picked Hiei up by his collar and set him down next to me. He wrapped his wing around us, forcing us closer.

"It was you who didn't like Puu," I said. "Remember?"

"Puu! Puu!"

"I never said I didn't like him," Hiei objected.

"You never went out of your way to be particularly nice to him either. It kinda hurt our feelings."

"Our?"

"Yeah, anything you do to Puu is like doing it to me."

Puu rested his head in Hiei's lap.

Yukina walked in with tea and cake. "Aww, that is so cute," she said. "Would you boys like some tea?"

"No thanks," I said. Hiei elbowed me in the side. "On second thought, I'd love some."

Yukina brought the tea-tray over to me and Hiei and set it in front of us. She sat down on the floor facing us and scratched Puu's neck. He 'puu'-ed at her softly.

"This is the happiest I've seen him in days," said Yukina as she took a sip of tea. I picked up a tea-cup and sipped it. It was scalding.

Hiei touched the cup and it cooled down instantly. I took another sip, it was perfect. I smiled at Hiei. Hiei just looked away.

"You must have been feeling down lately, Yusuke-san," said Yukina.

"Ehh… I'm just worried about Kurama."

"Oh, I know. I went over there yesturday to see if there was something I could do but Kurama-san just needs rest. I'm sure he'll be just fine." Yukina looked from Puu to Hiei to me and back to Hiei as if she were trying to figure something out. "Hmm… Puu seems to be oddly affectionate today," she said.

Puu 'puu'-ed happily again and started nuzzling Hiei's neck some more. Hiei looked at him fondly for a second before leaning in and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

My whole body tingled. "Don't make-out with my soul, Hiei. I might get the wrong idea," I said.

Yukina swatted my shoulder and Puu gave her a sharp look before returning his focus on Hiei. He licked Hiei's nose and returned his head to his lap. "Will you excuse us, Yukina?" asked Hiei. "I need to have a conversation with Yusuke and his soul."

"No problem," said Yukina. She stood up and exited.

"You licked me," Hiei accused.

"Puu?" He was getting nervous so I was getting nervous. He lifted his head out of Hiei's lap and turned away.

_Is he going to reject me?_ I wondered.

"Explain your soul's behavior," said Hiei.

"I, uh, already told you that I love you, that means Puu loves you too," I said. "He's more affectionate then I am."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe because I'm not affectionate enough so Puu does it for me?"

"Do you love Kurama?"

"Well, yeah. I love all of you guys."

"I see…" Hiei looked down at his lap.

"Puu?" Puu looked back at Hiei.

"Puu is just a bit too friendly. He's my soft side, you see," I said. "I can't stand it when he acts all mushy like this."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to go back home now."

"Okay, no problem. Let's just thank Yukina and we'll be on our way."

So we were on our way, back on the bumpy train eating crappy snacks from the snack cart and Hiei was barely saying two words to me. "So," I said by way of starting conversation. "Have you decided if you're going to stay with me or not?"

Hiei looked at me for a moment with confusion in his eyes. "Do you want me to live with you?" he asked after a minute and a half of silence.

"I want you to be comfortable. Whatever you want to do is fine."

Hiei looked out the window. "Don't treat me this way if you don't mean it."

"What are you talking about?" My anger flared at the sudden accusation. _He thinks I don't care?_

"What do _you_ want? What _I_ want is irrelevant, it's your house."

"Do you think I'm being falsely nice?"

"I don't know _what_ to think. It's as if all of the sudden you give a damn about me and I don't know how to take the years of apathy. Where were you all those months while I was in the Makai being mistreated by Mukuro? You didn't send a letter or any kind of word! What do you expect me to believe, the year of silence, or this new _caring_?"

"We're like a polar match, Hiei. Every time I try to get close to you, you push me away. Like magnets pointing the same way. Don't for one second think I don't really care about you. I don't throw the word 'love' around. I put it where it belongs."

"What is your _love_ anyway?"

I grabbed Hiei by the shoulders. "I want you to be happy. That's all. I want nothing in return. Except maybe for you to believe that I love you."

"That doesn't answer my question! I want to know what love from you means!"

"A few days ago, I made a promise to you; we will always be together. At least as long as you want me around."

"Don't be disengenious."

"Disengenious!?"

"You can't really expect me to believe that you want to stay with me forever?"

"Are we speaking the same language here? If I weren't telling the truth, you would know immediately. I suck at lying."

Hiei glared at me. "What are your feelings for me? Other than love. What else is there?"

"Is that all you want to know?"

"Yes, that is all and then we can drop this conversation."

"There is nothing else."

Hiei sighed and was silent for the remainder of the trip home.

_**Those boys just don't know how to see what is in front of them… Putridly fluffy I know but I think the time called for it. REVIEW please!**_


	8. 2 Chapter 3 Rosewish

**Disclaimer: It's not mine. You can check out my profile for full disclaimer (it's actually there now, I promise!)**

_**Soo sorry about all the fluff in the previous chapter. I was trying to prove a point.**_

**Part 2 Chapter Three: Rosewish**

_POV: Kuwabara_

I knew he probably couldn't hear me, but I spoke to him anyway. Outwardly, he looked the same. He was still Kurama, no matter that he wasn't speaking or eating or even moving on his own. No matter that I had to do everything for him from feeding him to bathing him to taking him to the bathroom. He was still Kurama.

Somewhere inside.

"Urameshi and Hiei went to visit Yukina today," I said to Kurama who was lying in his bed staring blankly at the ceiling. "She said they seem well. Puu was really happy to see Hiei for some reason. Yukina thinks Urameshi's in love with Hiei. What do you think?"

Kurama didn't move.

I stroked his hair. "Would you feel better sitting by the window?" I asked. "Yeah, I think so." I picked him up bridal style and set him in the chair by his bedroom window. "It's a lovely day. I bet your plants are enjoying it."

Kurama's eyelashes fluttered.

I picked up a rose from the vase by the window and placed it in Kurama's right hand. "What is it telling you?" I asked. "I bet it wants to bloom. This one is still a bud. Why don't you make it blossom?"

Kurama's ki flared breifly and the rose opened.

"Does that mean you can hear me?" I asked. _Maybe he's really going to be okay!_ "Can you say something?"

Kurama said nothing, for a moment, I had thought that he would say something, that he was back to normal but he was lost again. I wanted to cry. _It was just a physical reflex to make the rose open. It had nothing to do with me. _"Kurama," I said. "Why won't you come back?"

I stared into Kurama's blank, vacant eyes for a minute. It was as if there was no soul in him. Nothing of Kurama was left in his body. He was an empty shell. _I won't give up,_ I swore to myself. _I won't give up on Kurama. Even if it takes a million years, I will not leave his side._ "It's okay, buddy, I'm here when you're ready."

_**Super short, I know but I can't stand writing about Kurama in this condition. I broke into tears several times trying to come up with the concept for this chapter.**_


	9. 2 Chapter 4 The Unavoidable Answer

_**Sorry about the long gap in updates. Thanks for all the reviews! Love for my fans!!**_

**Part 2 Chapter Four: The unavoidable answer to the unasked question**

_POV: Hiei_

_Love!? What does he mean? I am so frustrated by his love that I keep fighting with him and saying things I really don't believe._ These were my thoughts after I stormed out of Yusuke's house for the third time that week. Fighting was all we did. _And he always says he loves me before I walk out. Damn him. Damn his love._

I went racing through the forest, looking for a way to relieve my anger and frustration. There was nothing I could do, I realized after a few minutes. I would have to let it pass.

_If Kurama weren't out of commission I could ask his advice. When is that stupid fox going to wake up?_

I found myself running in the direction of Kurama's house anyway. Halfway there, I remembered that Kuwabara is always there and there was no way I was going to be able to stand him. But I kept going. Something was telling me to go.

_I should hate Yusuke for doing this to me. But why is it that I can't have a thought without thoughts of him? Why is it that when I lie awake at night, all I can think of is Yusuke and what went wrong between us that we fight so often?_

When I reached Kurama's house, I knocked. Not the usual protocal but I thought that barging in unannounced might be too rude even for me. Afterall, Kurama was convalescent. I didn't want to upset his care-taker; human or not.

Kuwabara came to the door looking more tired than usual. "Hey, Hiei," he said.

"Good morning," I replied sarcastically.

"Did you come to see Kurama?"

"Is he awake?"

"No."

"Then what's the point?"

"He still has ears, he still has feelings. Come in and talk to him for a bit."

I shrugged and entered the house. It was even cleaner than usual. Kuwabara led me upstairs to Kurama's room, I had already known where it was from previous visits but let the baka lead me anyway.

Kurama was sitting in the chair by his window. The one I usually sat in to watch the rain while keeping Kurama company. Or at least, the chair I used to sit in. I hadn't visited him since I left for the Makai. He lived in his parents house even though they had long since moved out.

"Good morning, Kurama," I said, standing in front of him. "I…" I turned to Kuwabara. "What does one say in such a situation?"

"Tell him about your day," said Kuwabara.

"Even though the day has just started, it has already been a disastor. I've fought with Yusuke constantly upon waking and I nearly hit him.

"I don't even know what I was so angry about," I continued. "Except that he has a frustrating way of telling me that he loves me without explaining what he means by it.

"I feel like a fool," I told Kuwabara.

"Just keep talking. It'll do him good to hear your voice. Are you living with Urameshi now, Hiei?"

"No. I spent the night there last night. It was a mistake."

"What did you do?"

"I couldn't sleep outside. It was too cold."

"Here's the amusing part," I said, facing Kurama. "The boy asked me to live with him. I can't even be in the same room with him awake without saying something awful and demeaning to him.

"Take, for example, this morning. He tried to make me breakfast and I told him I wouldn't eat Ningin food. Set aside the fact that he was bending over backwards for me by waking up so early and the fact that I've eaten Ningin food several times in the past. What is the matter with me, Kurama? Why can't I be nice to him?"

"It's not in your nature," said Kuwabara. "So, Urameshi loves you and you don't know what he means by it. Have you tried asking him?"

"Yes," I replied snappishly. "He merely says that there is nothing other than love."

"Is he attracted to you?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Have you asked?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Aren't you attracted to him?"

"That's none of your business."

"S'what I thought. You've got it bad for Urameshi."

"Shut up you fool, you know nothing."

Kuwabara just stared at me knowingly which only made me even angrier. "You kissed Puu." he said after a minute.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"How did Urameshi react when you did that?"

"He didn't. He just shivered as if he were cold."

"Was it cold in the room?"

"It was pleasently warm. I don't see where you are going with this."

"What other reason would someone shiver?"

I stared at him.

"Well…?"

"I don't know."

"You are so clueless. Maybe you don't deserve my help."

"Who said you were helping at all?" I turned back to Kurama. "How can you stand listening to him all day?"

"You're the one who's an emotional train-wreck. Does Urameshi even start the fights ever?"

I thought back on it. "No. Not that I can remember."

"Then you are the one with the problem. Not Urameshi."

"Would you ever tell someone you loved them and not explain what it meant?"

"What does love mean to you?"

I glared at him. "No one has ever loved me except Yusuke and I don't understand it at all."

"Why? Do you think you're unlovable?"

"I know I am. Which is why it doesn't make any sense for him to say he loves me."

"Do you think he's lying?"

"No, I think he is witholding the truth."

"What truth is there, Hiei, besides that he loves you? What more could you want?"

"He promised to spend the rest of his life with me," I muttered, staring at my feet.

"At the exclusion of all others?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did he ask you to marry him?"

"No. That is idiotic."

"You should go ask him what he meant by spending the rest of his life with you. Ask him if he wants to be with you _be with you_. Like as a life-partner."

"What if he says yes?"

"What if? What do you say?"

"I would tell him that he is completely out of his mind."

"Why? Because you don't love him?"

"No."

"Then you _do_ love him?"

"I never said that."

"I suggest trying to figure out what you want. It's not completely up to Urameshi. You're half of the equation."

"I'm done with this conversation. I'm leaving now. Good bye, Kurama." I walked out and headed back to the forest where, although I tried not to listen, I couldn't avoid hearing the wind crying Yusuke's name.

_**If anyone complains about Kuwabara being smart, Suraki will kill ya. She's the one that told me I should have Kuwabara give Hiei advice.**_

_**THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS!**_


	10. 2 Chapter 5 Be with me

**Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies.**

**Part 2 Chapter Five: Be with me**

_POV: Yusuke_

What frustrated Hiei the most was the fact that I wouldn't explain how I felt about him beyond telling him that I loved him. I didn't understand what he wanted to know really. Or why, as the case may be. What did it matter to him how I felt beyond love? Wasn't the fact that I loved him more than enough? Why was he complicating it?

Then it hit me. It was _my_ fault that Hiei was all messed up in the head over me. _I_ complicated the situation by telling him I loved him in the first place. What an idiot I was! But how do you explain something you don't understand fully yourself? Would it make better sense if I told him that I was _in_ love with him? Would he even know what that meant?

Or wait a minute. Did he want to know if I was attracted to him physically? Well, the answer is yes. A very speedy yes. Gods, the guy blew my mind with his sex-godliness. _I wonder what he'd do if I called him a sex-god to his face. Probably kill me… _

It made me wonder if he even felt the same.

_He's never stayed away this long. It's practically night._

Then he came through my bedroom door and sat next to me on the bed so matter-of-factly that it took me a moment to register the fact that he doesn't live with me. "Welcome h- back," I said, stutteringly.

"I wanted to apologize for insulting your cooking earlier."

"What are you talking about?"

"I wouldn't eat your breakfast. I also wanted to apologize for being such an ass to you ever since we… came back from Yukina's."

"What's a fight between friends? Doesn't mean much."

Hiei looked really hurt for some reason. "Is that all I am to you? Just a friend?"

"Well, you _mean_ more than that but I can only go as far as you'll let me."

"Is your love for me… platonic?"

"As in friendly as opposed to friendlier?" Hiei nodded. "It's only that way because you haven't given me any reason to… you know… go for it with you. I don't know how you feel about me at all. I'm the only one being open about his feelings here. If you want it to be something more, I'm sure as hell not going to object."

"Then you meant that you wanted to be with me forever as lovers…"

"If that freaks you out, we can pretend this never happened." Boy was _I_ red in the face.

He looked up at me with a piercing gaze and not for the first time, I wanted to kiss him so bad it hurt. "I spoke to Kuwabara today. And Kurama," Hiei added. "He's not awake yet but Kuwabara told me to talk to him anyway."

"Okay…"

"The strange thing is, Kuwabara tried to help me figure out how you felt about me."

"Well… I mean, I never told him so how would he know?"

"Apparently, he did know. He kept trying to tell me that you were attracted to me but I wouldn't listen. I thought he was being… I thought he didn't know what he was talking about."

"Yeah… so… um… Hiei, I'm really freaking out here. I don't know if your mad at me for liking you this way or if you're not sure what to do or if you even care that I'm attracted to you but I wish you would talk to me about it."

"I certainly care. After all, if I'm going to be with you for the rest of my days, such a thing as this can not be ignored."

"Hiei… Please… If you're teasing me or something, I'm not liking it."

"Take it slow with me, alright? I want to be with you as lovers too. I'm just not ready for… sex."

"Okay, but is it alright if I, like hug you and stuff?"

Hiei didn't answer me right away but after a moment, his answer became clear. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, Hiei."

He pulled away and kicked off his boots. Then he crawled under the covers.

"Okay… You can have the bed, I'll sleep on the couch this time," I said.

"What? You don't want a 'cuddle nap?'" He grinned evilly at me.

"Ehh… um, just give me a minute and I'll change." I walked away and picked out some pajamas then started heading for the bathroom.

"You can change in here. I'm not one to mind about seeing someone naked."

"Er, okay." I changed as fast as possible. _What's with him? He doesn't want to have sex –not that I want to right now!- but he doesn't mind seeing me naked?_

I slipped under the covers and waited for Hiei to make a move. He scooted closer to me and lay his head on my chest. I wrapped an arm around him and stroked his hair with my other hand.

He fell asleep almost instantly.

_**Review please. I'd do the same for you.**_


	11. 2 Chapter 6 Seeking the answer

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho but I am willing to start fundraising to buy it if anyone's interested.**

**Part 2 Chapter Six: Seeking the answer is the first step toward finding it**

_POV: Kuwabara_

I sat Kurama up in bed and started brushing his hair. I could never quite get it the way he did but it looked better than if I just let it be. "It stopped raining," I said. "I know your flowers need the water to grow but it's so sad when it rains." Kurama didn't move. Not that I expected him to.

I lifted him up to pull off his night-gown and changed his underwear. I was beyond being embarrassed about that stuff anymore.

Since he was catatonic, I could pose him any way I needed to as long as he was sitting down. He stayed in the same position as long as I left him that way so dressing him wasn't hard at all. Waxy permeability, was what the book called it. It made me sick if I thought about it too hard.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. It was a stupid question but I asked it anyway. He was never hungry and it was hard to get him to eat. I was afraid I would have to take him to a hospital to have a feeding tube put in but if I put the food in his mouth in tiny pieces, eventually his body took over and swallowed it. Soup was out, for obvious reasons, he could drown but soft foods were fine.

Once I had fed him as much as I was going to be able, I set him in his favorite chair by the window in his bedroom. I call it his favorite chair because the only time he ever did anything on his own was when he was sitting in that chair.

Mostly all he did was blink but it was something. Today, he twitched a few times before I started talking to him.

"The sunflowers are almost as tall as Hiei now and the lilies are in full bloom. I pruned your rose bush yesterday, I think the roses appreciated it." Kurama blinked. "The news said that the prime minister of Israel is going to pull all of the Jewish people out of the Gaza strip today. The Americans are still fighting in Iraq and I think they're losing. I mean, how can you change the entire infrastructure of a country and a culture? Doesn't work too well." Kurama blinked again. I always told him what was going on in the world so he wouldn't have to wonder when he finally came to.

"I think Hiei is in love with Urameshi." Kurama blinked really fast three times. "That's my opinion anyway. He seems really confused, don't you think?" Kurama looked up and I could almost swear he was looking at me.

"I already know Urameshi loves Hiei because it's hard not to notice this stuff when you're best friends with someone for so long." Kurama's head tilted as if he were almost about to nod. "What do you think about this? Do you think Hiei's in love with our Yusuke? I sure hope he is 'cause Yusuke's hopelessly in love with him."

I smiled at Kurama. "You look really well today. Radiant, almost." Kurama made a hissing sound. It startled me because he hadn't made any kind of sound since the day with Mukuro. "Then again, you always were the most attractive of all of us. You still are. Do you remember that day at the park when those girls thought you were my girlfriend?" Kurama almost nodded again. _Is he trying to speak?_ "Women these days say that a feminine look to guys is really hot nowadays. I don't know, man, I always thought you were pretty in a way." I scratched the back of my neck. "I guess beautiful is more appropriate."

Kurama seemed to move forward almost imperceptibly. "I hope I didn't just hurt your manly pride… That was sure dumb of me to say. No wonder Hiei's always calling me an idiot. I can't even talk to someone who won't speak."

Kurama didn't have a reaction to that. I thought I was losing him. "To tell you the truth, I always kinda liked you. You know, as more than friends. You probably think I'm weird now. But, you've always been special to me. I mean, in an out of reach sort of way." Kurama blinked like five times.

"Listen to me, I'm babbling. You should scold me for abusing the language." Kurama didn't move. _Interesting. When I talk about love, he gets more animated._ "Do you know why I stay with you?" Kurama blinked. "It's because I hope that someday, you'll come back and smile at me the way you did when everything was okay. I want everything to be okay again. I care about you so much, I can't bare the thought of losing you. I know you're still there but…" Kurama's left hand twitched.

"Can we make it okay again? Can we make it okay together?" I grabbed Kurama's left hand because it was still twitching.

He squeezed back.

"Kurama?"

His muscles seemed to start waking up for a minute but he froze a moment later. "I can't make it okay if you're not okay. Please, Kurama. Come back. I need you." He started moving again. "Stay with me, please. Don't go away. I miss you so bad. It's breaking my heart." I was crying. "Because the truth is, I have always loved you and I always will…" My voice broke and I started sobbing.

I leaned forward in my chair so my head was almost resting in Kurama's lap. "I love you so much. Please, please, let's make it okay!"

It took me a moment but I finally realized that Kurama was hugging me. "I want to make it okay too," he said.

I looked up at him. "You're back!" I cried.

"I never fully went away, thanks to you. I will never forget all that you have done for me."

"I don't care if you forget as long as you stay with me. Stay here with us I mean."

"I know what you mean. I think the former was closer to the truth." Kurama started stroking my back. "I won't go away again; I promise you. After all, how could I knowing that you love me enough to cry? How could I when I love you the same? The question that you have longed for the answer, do you understand the answer now?"

"Yes, of course. You went away because your heart was broken so the only thing that could bring you back was love."

"Thank you, Kuwabara. I think we can make it okay together."

_**Yay! K-Rama's back! I know that this was a mean way to end a chapter but stay tuned, kiddies. Next update will come soon.**_

_**REVIEW!**_


	12. 2 Chapter 7 Displaced anger

**Disclaimer: I don't own it!**

**Next chapter is the last.**

**Part 2 Chapter Seven: Displaced anger, correctly placed fear**

_POV: Hiei_

He came to me as I was eating the soup he had prepared with a strange look on his face. "What?" I asked him.

Yusuke opened his mouth but no sound came out.

"Well…?"

"K-Kurama's back!" he stammered.

"How… when?" I stood up too fast and spilled soup all over myself. "Shit!"

"Forget about it, Hiei. They're coming over right now!"

"They? As in the baka as well?"

"The _baka_ saved Kurama's life while we were busy caught up in our stupid fights."

"Don't blame this on me."

"I'm not. I'm just saying that Kurama wouldn't have come back without Kuwabara. So don't call him a baka anymore. He was smarter then us because he knew how to wake Kurama up from his catatonic state."

"And how, pray tell, did he do it?"

"He un-broke Kurama's heart and gave him a reason to live. The way I did for you when I told you I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Did he also confuse the hell out of Kurama with his cryptic love?"

"Kuwabara's love is never cryptic. Mine wasn't either. You just needed to ask the right questions." The doorbell rang. "I'll get it."

I followed Yusuke into the living room where he greeted our friends and let them in. "It's great to see you, Kurama," he said. "I'm so glad you're better."

Kuwabara helped Kurama out of his jacket with a fond smile, Kurama smiled back in a shy way.

"I'm glad that I am better as well," said Kurama.

"You look thin," Yusuke said.

"Just give him some of your cooking, Urameshi," said Kuwabara. "He won't be able to stop eating it."

Yusuke laughed. "Come on," said Yusuke. "My cooking isn't that great."

"Yeah," said Kuwabara. "It's awesome. Besides, you put butter in everything, he'll gain the weight back in no time."

"Okay. Let's go to the kitchen, I've got some soup ready."

"The soup that Hiei is wearing?" asked Kurama. "Because it smells delicious."

I growled at him and stalked off to the kitchen. They all followed and watched as I cleaned up the soup that had spilled. "Why are all of you staring at me?" I asked.

"Because you never clean up after yourself," said Yusuke. He took out some bowls and ladled some soup for the other two. "Do you want some more?" he asked me.

"I've had enough of your soup for one day," I replied tersely. "I'm going upstairs to change." I walked upstairs and heard Kuwabara and Kurama laugh at something Yusuke said.

_I shouldn't have been so cross with him,_ I thought. _I still can't seem to sort out these feelings._

I pulled on a new outfit and headed back downstairs. They all looked so happy in the kitchen together that I almost didn't want to interrupt, but I walked in anyway. "I'm sorry," I said to Yusuke. "I shouldn't have been annoyed over something so minor."

"No problem, Hiei," said Yusuke. "We all get pissed for no reason."

"That doesn't give me the right to be so rude."

"I'll just let it drop right here."

"That was weird," said Kuwabara. "I've never heard Shorty apologize before."

"It is demoralizing not to call me by my name, idiot," I snapped. "And wipe that stupid look off your face."

"Sorry, Hiei," said Kuwabara. "I just thought you were used to it by now."

"I thought you had learned better than to call me names by now. I suppose we were both wrong."

"What has gotten into you, Hiei?" Kurama asked, slightly shocked. "You should show a little more respect to the man who saved my life."

That stung. "Yusuke saved your life just as much as that oaf did. Maybe more-so because you wouldn't have a body to go back to even if Kuwabara mended your broken heart had Yusuke not thrown you over into the other dimension. I'm amazed you managed to lose yourself so completely. I couldn't stand looking at you for your weakness." _Shut up! Shut up right now and stop hurting people!!_ "I… I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."

Kurama started blinking really fast. "It's alright… I understand."

"Bullshit!" yelled Yusuke. "Hiei, that so was _not_ cool. I can't believe you could even say that to KURAMA of all people. What's the matter with you?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong… I'll just go now…"

Yusuke was suddenly behind me holding me to his chest. "You can't just walk out of this, Hiei. We need to talk out your feelings. Why are you so angry with Kurama?"

I sighed and leaned back into Yusuke's arms. "It isn't so much that I am angry with Kurama. I'm just upset that I couldn't be of more help to him. And the human was. I mean, Kuwabara was. As his partner, I should have been there for him."

"Visiting me while I was… unwell did me a world of good, Hiei," said Kurama. "I thought I had nothing to come back to so I decided not to. But when you came to visit me and spoke to me even though you thought it was stupid, I could still feel that you were there. You were there speaking to me as if I were normal."

"It wasn't enough."

"He was a lot more active since that day," said Kuwabara. "Especially when I mentioned you. You did plenty. You were just scared. We all were. It's okay."

Yusuke released me and I stood up straight. I wished he hadn't let me go. He seemed to sense that because he rubbed my shoulders and let his hands linger on them for a moment. "Thank you," I said quietly. "And to Kurama; thank you for coming back."

Kurama smiled. "You're welcome," he said with conviction. He turned to Kuwabara. "I suppose we should be heading home. I have a lot of business to attend to from while I was away. Kazuma, are you ready?"

"Yeah," he said, "we'll see you guys later." He gave Yusuke a meaningful look.

"I'm sorry," I said once the door was shut behind our friends. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"I'm not mad. It's really okay. If Kurama had cried, I might be upset but as it stands… You did the right thing trying to make it right. And I think Kurama knows it."

"I'm feeling tired, I think I will go to bed."

"I'll be up as soon as I get the dishwasher loaded."

I headed upstairs, slipped into my pajamas and under the covers to wait for Yusuke. It wasn't a long wait. I was grateful for that.

He crawled under the blankets and ruffled my hair. I couldn't help but smile. I was slightly ticklish on my scalp. Or perhaps 'ticklish' is the wrong word. It made me feel warm all over and as if I wanted him to touch me more.

I curled my body around his and rested my head on his chest. He held me with one arm and stroked my hair with the other. When he does that I get so sleepy. I fell asleep right away.

_**Another chapter written and beta-d. I hope you enjoyed. PLEASE REVIEW!!**_


	13. 2 Chapter 8 Don't Move Me So

_**Back to Yusuke's POV . Last Chapter!!! I'll be the first to admit that I fudged the phoenix thing a bit to fit the story.**_

**Disclaimer: The fact that I put 'disclaimer' here should be enough of a disclaimer. I don't own but my imagination.**

**Part 2 Chapter eight: Don't move me so**

Mostly when Hiei spoke in his sleep, it was nonsense. But the babble that night wasn't so much a babble as a plea for understanding. I was so disturbed by his words that I couldn't sleep the whole night.

It started innocuous enough. "Please…" was the only word he uttered for a few minutes. "Where to find me?" was the next phrase to come about. "Lost in the sea. Can't find… drowning." I started trembling as the vastness of his loneliness hit me. With but a few words, he managed to move me to tears. There was real turmoil in his body and soul.

After a moment, he began crying without tears. "So scared… all alone in darkness. Please, somebody find me!"

I looked down into his face. I read real terror there. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. I saw plenty with his eyes closed. His face was screwed up in pain and he was shaking. I tried to soothe him by rubbing his increasingly tense muscles but he wouldn't stop trembling.

Finally, I hugged him tighter and his sleeping form relaxed but I was so shocked by the multitude of his loneliness that sleep would not come.

I found myself staring out the window at the gentle breaking of dawn.

"My back hurts," Hiei mumbled, coming groggily out of sleep. "Must've slept funny. Yusuke, you awake?"

"Yeah, Hiei, I'm here," I said.

"You sound odd."

"Oh?"

"You sound as if you've just been delivered a severe blow to the stomach. Is something wrong?"

"You tell me."

"What?"

I held him tighter. "I had no idea how lonely you were."

"How could I be lonely if you won't leave me alone?"

"You were talking in your sleep, Hiei. Something about being alone in darkness and hoping that someone would find you."

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you."

"That's not the point, Hiei. The point is that you need to be up-front with me about your feelings."

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Absolutely."

"As you said, I am lonely. Not as much as I used to be but the loneliness has always been there."

"Can I take it from you? Can I take your loneliness?"

"You already have, Phoenix. You've taken so much of my loneliness that it is almost bearable again." Hiei lifted my right arm and showed me the now-permanent tattoo. "You were right, it's a phoenix. Very fitting."

"How so?"

"In mythology, the Phoenix dies only to be reborn. The way you have done twice if memory serves. The Phoenix achieves immortality simply by being borne of the ashes to which it descends. How fitting that you should be paired with a fire demon; the very element which allows you to be reborn."

"Do you realize how significant that means you are?"

Hiei stared at me for a long time. I realized at that moment that I was holding him awfully tightly and he had yet to complain. I started to release him but he only moved closer and tightened his own grip. "I'm significant?" he muttered, breathless.

"You didn't even realize what you were saying. You were saying what I already knew was true. You are my life-blood. Without you there is nothing. Life is meaningless."

"That's an awfully large burden to place upon one person's shoulders."

"I'm not saying that I couldn't go on without you, I'm just saying it would be a lot less meaningful and I wouldn't have a sense of direction. You see, Hiei, this love for you is stronger than you seem to believe. All that which has become unknown, I see in your eyes. Oblivion doesn't seem nearly as threatening if it means that I will face it with you."

"I don't understand…"

"We're together for life, remember? It doesn't matter that I've been dead twice, I came back both times. The fact that the next time will be the last is a lot less scary when I think that you will either be there to get me through it or waiting for me on the other side."

"I suppose I never realized how desperate your love for me was." He looked up into my eyes for the first time that morning. "You're right though; Oblivion seems like nothing if I'm with you."

_Do I dare even hope? Could this possibly be the 'I love you' I've been waiting for?_

"Yusuke, when I think about… When I remember all that we've been through together… Words are insufficient." He moved up to eye level. "I can only express what I mean by doing this." He kissed me softly and gently. I let him take it in whatever direction he wanted it to go. Which I suppose was nowhere because he released my lips after only a moment.

"Th-th-thankss," I stammered. _A little peck and I'm speechless! I wonder what would happen if he kissed me in earnest._

He looked at me strangely. "You thanked me for kissing you?"

"Eh-heh! Um… well… I'm an idiot. My brain turned to goo when you did that so I said the only thing that would come out. Anyway… I gotta get to work."

"You don't have a job. You are a Makai Lord, you live off your country's riches. Don't try to skip out on me with that bull crap."

"Actually, I'm really tired so I would love nothing more than to rest a while."

"You just woke up."

"Not really… I was up all night."

"Oh… I'll just go make breakfast for one then. You sleep." He kissed me in that innocent way again and I melted into the sheets. Then he was gone.

It was surprisingly easy to fall asleep after that.

When I woke up it was around noon and Hiei was lying in bed beside me. "Ah… Hiei?" I said.

"Yes?" he replied.

"What are you doing?"

"You wouldn't cease your shivering so I came to offer warmth."

"How long have you been there?"

"About an hour. To be honest, I'm not in the mood to do anything today. I'd rather just lie here beside you and while away the hours doing nothing. Did that sound horrifyingly romantic to you or was it just me?"

"It sounded wonderful to me."

"Good." He rested his head on my chest, apparently his favorite position, and I wrapped him in a firm but gentle embrace.

"This is what safety feels like," said Hiei. "I like it."

"I think it's more security than safety. You know, just being in the arms of someone who loves you can make a world of difference in how you feel about the world in general."

"Is that how I make you feel?"

"No, Hiei. You make me feel better than that. You make me feel like nothing is out of reach. I'm freaking you out now, right?"

"It stokes the ego to hear how much you love me."

The familiar tingle in my heart was there when he said the word 'love.' It always was. "Well, there's this weird thing in my heart that felt incomplete without you. Now that you're with me, I feel like I can do anything. You make me feel alive and happy but sad at the same time."

"Why sad?"

"Well, because you don't love me."

"You are making an awfully dangerous assumption right there."

"What? Does that mean you_ do_ love me?"

"I never said I didn't."

"You never said you did."

"I do."

"Then say it."

"I love you, Yusuke. More than can ever be expressed. Why do you think I kissed you? I wouldn't do that if I didn't love you. Be sensible."

"People kiss people they don't love all the time."

"Oh, you mean when you kissed Keiko?"

"No, I loved Keiko…. Actually, come to think of it… I've never kissed someone I didn't love. Except maybe Kuwabara but that was just me invading his dreams."

"What?"

"It's a long story. I never really kissed him. I just made him dream that he kissed me."

"Why?"

"Long story."

"Tell it to me."

So I told him the story of how I died the first time and came back to life. It was amazing how much he didn't know about me until then. At least, how much he didn't know about me as a middle school kid. For example, he had no idea that I used to beat Kuwabara senseless because I felt like it. Just random stuff like that. Also, the missing father thing was a complete mystery to him. Having never met his own father, he could relate on an intimate level on that one.

We spent the day talking until I got hungry then ate a quiet dinner together. It struck me how normal this whole thing seemed. It was as if Hiei belonged there. As if he had been there all along and I failed to notice. I guess he had been.

_**End**_

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